Hate, Love and Other Crazy Things
by I Am Leg7end
Summary: After Jeremy finally gets it together and leaves Blaise, he turns over a new leaf in his life. And after a startling medical revelation, Jeremy's life suddenly just got a lot more complicated. Add a love triangle into the mix, and you've got a recipe for disaster.
1. Chapter 1

'I can't do it anymore, Blaise,' I say.

She turns to look at me, confusion coming across her face.

'What? If you don't like-'

'Not that, Blaise! I can't do this, this whole meaningless sex thing, I'm not good at it and I don't like it, I don't want to be with someone who refuses to have any sort of feelings towards me.'

'Jeremy, if you want to go out for fancy dinner before we bang, that's fine, as long as you get the bill, of course,' She says, smirking.

I exhale heavily.

'I'm not joking, Blaise.'

'Seriously? You're seriously breaking up with me?'

I look away as her face turns cold.

'Well good for you, you spineless little shit, I didn't know you had it in you,' She says as she picks up her coat and begins to leave.

'Do you have any idea how hard it is to pretend that I don't feelings for you? To pretend that I'm okay with us not being important in each others lives? Do you? I have feelings for you, Blaise, and no matter how many times I tell myself that I'm okay with our _arrangement_, there's a part of me that just won't stop feeling.'

'Oh Jesus, let me play my violin!'

As she reaches the door she stops.

'Just one thing, Jeremy.'She says, smiling at me.

'What?'

'You know your friend, Richard?'

I nod my head.

'I was fucking him behind your back.'

And then she walks out.

'Crucified Christ,' I mummer to myself.

* * *

I've just always felt that I love differently to everyone else. Like it means something more to me than something I can just forget about tomorrow. When I fall for someone, it's permanent. I'm always the one who loves more, that's my problem. I'm not exactly missing Blaise, I mean life will go on. I guess I'm just sad about the situation. Because I liked Blaise, more than I thought I would, and tonight I got slapped in the face with the reality that she never intended to be with me, and that just isn't a very big deal to her.

* * *

'You know what sucks?' Mal asked.

'Vaccums?'

'I mean in the metaphorical sense.'

'Oh. Black holes?'

'Jesus. You know what just isn't cool?'

'Lava?'

Mal looked at me.

'Sorry, so, what sucks?'

'When coffee goes cold. I mean seriously, by the time you get it out and then you have to- Hey what's wrong?'

I sighed.

'Have you ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have?'

'Christ Jeremy, I'm pretty sure my whole thing with Selene speaks for me, why?'

'Nothing.'

'Jesus, Jeremy! Tell me now or I swear to God I'll stop the car right now and be the cause of your imminent death!'

'Fine!'

'Well?'

'I had a bit of a..._thing_ with Blaise,' I confessed.

'What?! Jeremy I-'

'Don't worry, I broke it off!'

'Whoa, I didn't know you had it in you, good job man!'

'Why do people keep saying that?! Anyway, how the hell am I meant to face her?!'

'Eh... That's a tough one, but I guess you're just gonna have to man up and face her, man.'

'_Shit!'_

'Sorry dude'

It's going to be a long day.

**Please read and review, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated! **


	2. Chapter 2

Oh God, my chest hurt. I mean, it _really_ hurt.

'Kill me now,' I mutter, closing my eyes and sighing heavily.

'Jeremy?'

I look up.

'What, Kai?'

'Your chest still hurtin' you man? How long has it been now, what, two, three weeks?'

'Yeah, it's getting pretty bad,' I look at him, 'Don't worry, Kai, I'm fine, now can we please get back to these samples? This murder isn't going to solve it's self.'

'...Ok, but you have to go to a doctor about that, man.'

'My chest hurts Kai, it's not gun-shot wound or anything, I probably banged it off something.'

'You guys getting any further with the DNA samples?'

I turned to find Amy.

I smiled. 'On it now.'

* * *

'Hey, Jeremy,' I looked over my shoulder and saw Natara.

'Hey,' I said.

'So... Mal told me about you and Blaise. How are you holding up?'

I sighed.

'Look, I really appreciate that your trying to help, I do. And I know Mal only told you 'cause he thought I could use some advice, but honestly, all I need right now is to crawl into my bed and hopefully die,' I said.

'Jeremy, look, I know –'

'Natara, if you really want to help me, you can ask Mal to keep his mouth shut and try prevent this from getting around the whole of San Francisco.'

'Okay, Jeremy, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm always here.'

'Yeah, thanks,' I said.

She gave me a small, sad smile and went off to continue her work.

I turned back to the file, but I just couldn't concentrate on paper work right now. I had been coughing non-stop for the last half-hour or so, my chest was getting worse and I kept looking at the door, dreading the fact that Blaise may walking in any moment now.

I looked at the clock on the wall.

5:30.

One hour, fifteen minutes to go.

* * *

'Hey, Jeremy, hitting up the bar tonight?'

I turned around, 'No, man, I'm wrecked.'

'Come on!'

'Seriously, my chest is killing me so I'm going home to sleep. End of discussion.'

'Alright man, but make a damn appointment and get your chest checked out!'

'Whatever,' I mummer.

My apartment isn't too far from the station, so I didn't have long to walk. As I was walking I saw couples everywhere. Literally. They were _everywhere._

I'm not a jealous guy, but I swear to God, I wanted to punch every guy in the face that looked at his girlfriend and did that annoying head-bob-and-duck-down-to-kiss-her thing.

They say that you'll find 'the one' soon enough. Mine clearly just took a wrong turn and got hit by a car or something. Everyone says you have to be patient, but look at Mal and Natara, Mal being _patient_ wouldn't have done him any good. I don't want to wait for 'the one' anymore. Of course, I'm no good socialising or anything, but maybe 'the one' got stuck in a tree and needs someone to go get them.

By the time I finally get to my apartment my chest is killing me and my cough is getting worse. I collapse onto my couch and flick on the tv. I go to undo my tie and I see... blood. On my hand.

I turn to the mirror and realise it's not just on one hand, it's on both. And all over my shirt.

'Crucified Christ!' I whisper.

And, whoever controls my god-forsaken life, decides to send me into a coughing fit. After about five straight minutes of coughing I look down at my hand again.

And it's covered in fresh blood.

I pick up the phone and go to make a doctor's appointment.

**Hi guys, Thanks to all you who reviewed, it meant a lot that you took the time** **to comment **

**Please read & review and, again, all constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, school starts back on Monday, so I won't be able to update as quickly **** But, I will try to make the chapters longer to make up for the time loss.**

**By the way, does anyone know the deal with Jeremy's mom? I would really like to include her in the story, but I'm not sure if Jeremy see's his mom at all. So could anyone tell me what's up with her? Or at least, your verdict **

**Until next time, friends.**


	3. Chapter 3

I was a pretty healthy guy. I mean, I didn't go to the gym every day, maybe three times in a month. I have a good diet, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't smoke. But the fact that I was short of breath and wheezing by the time I got to the station was a surprise. A bad one, if that.

'Redbird!'

I looked to see Anders approaching me.

"Yes sir?"

"You ok to go out in the field today? We need you check out some physco's hide-out," he said.

"Glad to."

He went to walk back, but looked back at me.

"Jeremy, why do have a little blood on your tie?"

_Crap!_

"I- eh... It's nothing, sir, just I little ketchup, I'm fine," I said.

"Hmmm... Ok, you sure your ok to go out on the field today?"

"Yeah! I'm fine, sir," I said.

He looked at me once more and went back to his office.

_Note to self: Buck up and get better at lying!_

"Hey Jeremy!," I looked and saw Mal.

"Hey," I said wearily.

"Two amigos, out on the road! Come on, this guys house is about an hour away, I'll fill you in on the way."

"Yeah, okay,"

"Come on, the car's outside."

"I call shotgun!" I yelled after him.

* * *

"So this guys been under our noses the whole time, but he's getting messier, which means he's leaving more evidence. Which could also mean..."

Mal droned on and on, but I had tuned out. We were only fifteen minutes into the journey, but I had this horrible feeling in my stomach. Oh, God.

"Jeremy?"

"Yeah?"

Mal frowned. "I said, 'You know Blaise is going to be there, right?'"

"Where?" I asked.

Mal sighed.

"At the crime scene, you know, the one we're going to _right now_?!"

"Oh yeah, right," The feeling in my stomach was getting worse now, and I had a horrible feeling I knew what was going to happen.

"Mal, can you stop the car?"

Mal looked at me.

"What?! Why?"

Oh, God, the worst is going to happen.

"Just let me out of the damn car!"

"Fine, fine!"

Mal stopped the car over at a small gas station. I hopped out.

I collapsed on the ground, and suddenly I felt a horrible substance at the back of my throat.

"Oh, God," I whispered, and then it all came out.

I don't know how its possible to contain so much in one body, but all I can tell you is that it felt like it was going on forever.

"Jeremy," Mal said from the car, " I didn't know you were that travel sick, I would've- Oh, Jesus..."

I looked at Mal.

"Jeremy, your mouth it's all-"

I touched my fingers to my lips and looked at them. They were covered in blood.

I looked in terror at what I saw at my feet.

A huge, puddle of blood.

"Christ," Mal murmured.

I just continued to look at what surrounded my feet.

"Can you drop me home?" I mumbled.

Mal looked relived. He probably thought I was catatonic or something.

"Yeah, yeah sure."

I got into the car, clutching my stomach.

Mal passed me paper bag. "For the journey," He said.

* * *

"You sure you don't want me to drop you to the hospital?" Mal asked for the fifth time.

'Yeah, my appointments not for another half hour so..."

"Alright, man, be careful,"

"I will, and, eh, thanks, Mal," I said.

"Any time buddy," He said.

I walked back into my apartment block. By the time I had managed to get up to my apartment, I was huffing and puffing and I had broken out into a sweat.

I walked in and collapsed onto the floor. I lay there, breathing heavily, eyes shut.

* * *

I had never been to fond of hospitals, didn't like the smell of them, and I didn't like the look of them.

"Jeremy Redbird?" A nurse asked.

"Yeah?" I said.

"If you'll come this way Mr. Redbird, and we'll begin some testing,"

"There won't be needles, will there?"

She looked at me.

"Crap,"

_Half an hour later._

"Well, Mr. Redbird just wait here a moment and Dr. Gellagher will be right with you,"

I looked at the nurse and gave her a small smile.

"Jeremy Redbird?"

I turned around and saw a doctor walk in.

"Hi," I said.

He sat down in his chair.

He looked at his computer screen and looked back at me. He repeated this about five times.

"Well, Mr. Redbird, what brings you here?"

I coughed. "Well, I've had this chest pain for about three weeks now, and I've also had this really bad cough, and lately I've begun coughing and vomiting up blood. I also tend to get really tired really easily and I can't seem to walk anywhere without loosing breath."

"Right, right," the doctor said, looking me up and down for a moment.

"And tell me, Mr. Redbird, have you lost any weight since the chest pains began?"

"Um, well yeah, I mean work is really stressful, and I was going through some things with my ex, I recently just broke up with her, so I mean I figured it was just sort of a stress thing..." I trailed off.

"Would you describe yourself as almost, _skeletal_?"

I looked at him.

"Why- what are you getting at?"

He looked at me with surprise on his face.

"Mr. Redbird, our test show that if anything you're dangerously _underweight_."

"Seriously?"

"I'm afraid so."

I was lost for words for a moment.

"Well... what's wrong with me?"

The doctor looked uncomfortable.

"Mr. Redbird, I'm sorry to have to tell, but all the tests were positive."

I looked at him expectantly.

"Mr. Redbird, you're suffering from stage one Lung Cancer."

I stared at him in disbelief.

"... What?"


End file.
